Bereaved Families of Ontario - Durham
"Bereaved, helping the bereaved to learn to live with grief. We can help the healing begin."
 
INSPIRATIONAL CORNER
 
 
 
 
An Angel’s Kiss

We go through life so often
Not stopping to enjoy the day,
And we take each one for granted
As we travel on our way.

We never stop to measure
Anything we just might miss,
But if the wind should blow by softly
You'll feel an angel's kiss.

A kiss that is sent from Heaven
A kiss from up above,
A kiss that is very special
From someone that you love.

For in your pain and sorrow
An angel's kiss will help you through,
This kiss is very private
For it is meant for only you.

So when your hearts are heavy
And filled with tears and pain,
And no one can console you
Remember once again.....

About the ones you grieve for
Because you sadly miss
And the gentle breeze you took for granted
Was just......... "an angel's kiss".
~Unknown

 

Go Rest High on That Mountain
~ written and recorded by Vince Gill
 

Go Rest high on that mountain

Son your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Look for the Father and the Son


I know your life on earth was troubled
And only you could know the pain
You weren't afraid to face the devil
You were no stranger to the rain

Go rest high on that mountain
Oh, how we cried the day you left us
We gathered round your grave to grieve
Wish I could see the angels' faces
When they hear your sweet voice sing

Go rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Look for the Father
  and the Son.

Go rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a-shoutin'
Look for the Father and the Son.
~

 

How To Cope With The Loss Of A Child

No matter how deep your grief and pain, no matter how alone you feel, you are not alone.  You are not to blame for the loss of your child.  The emotions experienced after the loss of a child can range from shock to anger, to depression and back again. You may feel like you will never be whole again.  Many parents grieving the loss of a child have trouble sleeping. If that's the case, ask a family doctor for a mild sedative. It's very important to be rested as best as you can.

Grieving mothers and fathers may express their grief differently. A grieving mother may want to talk it out, while a grieving father may suffer in silence. This may cause both parents to feel like they cannot relate to each other.  Grieving fathers may seek diversions - extra work or a new project - to cope with the loss of their child, hoping these diversions help them to stop thinking about their grief. They may have a hard time asking for help.  It may be especially difficult if one parent works at home, surrounded by the reminders of his/her lost child.

Collect some mementos of your child - you may feel too grief-stricken to think about keeping things, but it is important. Later, you will realize how meaningful these can be.

if possible, be with your child - even when he or she is dying. It may seem an insurmountable thing - to watch your child die, but parents who have lost children say it is very important to do so if you can.

Get into your grief, not out of it - many people want to rush around, keep busy, work harder, to have another baby - all to escape the grief. It doesn't work that way. Your child will live on forever in your heart and not acknowledging your loss may hinder the grieving process.

Take good care of yourself - grieving and loss depresses the mind and body. You may not want to eat, brush your teeth, take a shower, but you need to. Sometimes, the smallest step can make you feel very accomplished.

Write it out - write it in a private journal, but the act of putting words together in sentences can mean all the difference in the world.

Get help - talk to family and friends, and don't be afraid to seek professional help from a grief counsellor. There are many support groups available for grieving parents.

While you want to believe that you will recover quickly and entirely from the death of your child, that's rarely the case. The journey through grief takes time and much work. The days will become less painful, but there is no single date that passes that will make you feel instantly healed. The pain - and the memory of your child - will be with you forever.

~ Excerpt from “Band Back Together – we are none of us alone, we are all connected” web site, www.bandbacktogether.com

When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time—the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes—when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she's gone, forever—there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.” 
~ John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany