|
Hockey in the Cemetery
 My
initial reaction was irritation. We were entering the cemetery
and there, ahead on the cemetery road, were two young boys
playing road hockey!
It didn't seem right.
I glanced at my daughter and
we both shook our heads in disbelief.
There was a fork in the road
that gave access to the section of the cemetery we wished
to visit. So we didn't have to go by the boys. We took the
fork, drove the distance, and then parked the car.
It had snowed during the night
and the Christmas wreaths at most of the graves were snow-covered.
We brushed the snow off Brenda's wreath (my youngest daughter)
and said a prayer.
We could still hear the boys
and decided to exit the cemetery along the road where the
boys were playing. We were puzzled. Why play hockey in a cemetery?
As we approached we noticed
a young man off to the right. He was in his late 20s and he
had a hockey stick as well. But he was more inclined to push
the puck to one of the boys when it came his way.
And then we saw it: A wreath.
A new Christmas wreath. Propped up in the snow. With no trace
of snow upon it. And below the wreath a raised mound, snow-covered,
yet obviously a new mound.
The reality of it was instant.
I said to myself: "A father, his two boys - and their mother
too." It was a poignant moment...
The memory of "hockey in the
cemetery" came back to me recently when I watched the BFO
video, "A Child's Grief." A major point conveyed in the film
is that children go through a grief process and feel emotions
similar to those of an adult - but express their grief differently.
On occasion they "play out"
their grief. Or they select behavior that may seem inappropriate
to an adult. The boys in the cemetery were fortunate to have
a father who understood. All too often, however, a young person
has to "go it alone" in terms of deciding what to do about
his or her grief.
The message of the video is
that children can be helped. First, they can be helped by
parents if the parents themselves understand how a child grieves.
Second, they can be helped by professional caregivers and
grief counsellors. The video shows how professionals can use
a variety of play4ype activities to have children express
their emotions and feelings.
BFO-Durham has a copy of "A
Child's Grief." The video may be borrowed by phoning the Oshawa
Hospital Library at (905)576-8711, extension 3334. Arrange-ments
for pick-up and drop-off at the hospital's Patient Information
Desk may be made by phone. The video may be borrowed for a
three-day period. Prompt return is essential.
Brian Perks
Back
to Articles by Adults...
|
